Zee Says: We used to have a very female household. It was just me, my little girl, and perky yaya. We have thrived through many years of silliness, girl power, and lots of pink and glitter (thanks to the little girl). This is how my home looks:
We never really thought a man would eventually be part of our life. But I guess God had different plans for us. MDJ has been spending an awful lot of time with us – every single day, in fact – so this former No Man’s Land seems to be on its way to a big change. We have slumber parties, study groups, baking sessions, fashion shows – things girls do behind closed doors when the dirty boys are away!
It has been quite an adjustment for this girly household, and I’m sure MDJ has been adjusting too. Plus we have our poodle Vader, so that makes it two males in the household now.
MDJ: First of all, thank you for letting me be a part of your pink, girly, glittery world. You’ve seen my room at home – I literally haven’t cleaned it since 2009. Machismo aside, it feels wonderful to be breathing in potpourri and melon-scented candles instead of a laundry hamper filled with rancid three-week-old boxer briefs.
Zee: Err.. that’s actually not potpourri. That’s Lysol Country Fresh. I always have this ongoing battle with germs, so those three-week-old boxer briefs will have to be washed and, err, disinfected. I also have this war against clutter. Living with a kid and my numerous art materials & canvases already drives me up the wall. We love that you’re part of my family now and want to make sure you adjust as well, without turning into Martha Stewart or this:
MDJ: Remind me not to hang out with BB Gandanghari‘s stylist. I look like I’m part of a Jem & The Holograms revue on Castro Street.
Zee: The things you do to please a little girl and her mom. It’s priceless.
MDJ: Anyway, since you brought it up, there are quite a number of things I’ve had to adjust to. In no particular order, here they are.
- Surrendering my throne. Ask any dude, and they’ll tell you that at home they are king, and the toilet is their throne. I have friends who literally sit on their toilets at home with their laptops or iPads for two hours, not even actually “dropping the kids off at the pool,” so to speak, but just working and reading and relaxing. It’s a private, quiet sanctuary where they can think, ideate, create. Cleanliness and order aren’t exactly high on our priorities, hence the unflushed toilets and slopping-wet floors. We just want to kick back and have as much me-time as we need. But now, during our weekly slumber parties, I know I have to do my business as quickly as I can, and leave the bathroom as dry-floored and whistle-clean as you would.
- Shirts are now mandatory. My favorite outfit when I used to just chill at home during those times you’d be out of town would be a pair of silk boxer briefs, and nothing but. I’d wander around in this au naturel state for everything I’d do – cooking, PlayStation, washing my car, smoking in the front lawn, the neighbor’s opinions be damned. I wouldn’t even bathe for 3 straight days, unless absolutely necessary. But now, I do have to preserve a modicum of decency and hygiene, for the sake of the prissy girliness that fills your home, and actually put on a shirt and bathe once in a while. Exposed male nipples, after all, do not help create a healthy, nurturing environment for feminine sensibilities.
- Domestication & responsibility. Spending this much time with you and Bea means I have to chip in and do my part to help around the house. I can’t keep 4 days worth of used plates and drinking glasses in my room, or ask youand to prepare me a snack. If I’m hungry, I should forage for my own food (and no, calling for delivery no longer counts). If I make a mess, I have to clean up. If I eat, I have to do my own dishes and clean out the sink strainer, which still sends shudders down my spine. If there’s a ferocious lizard terrorizing you girls in the bathroom, I have to catch it and throw it out the window. Being a part of your world means doing my share of chores, and that’s the way it should be when one is a considerate guest.
- Rituals & routines. A bachelor’s life tends to be very free-flowing and unstructured, and that’s the way mine used to be before I met you. I do agree though that having a set routine does wonders in creating a sense of core, a sense of belonging. Which is why I love the little things you prearrange, like nightly group prayer time with the kids (AKA Bea & Vader), bi-weekly groceries at Rockwell, or how every first Saturday of the month is Mom & Bea Day where boys are not allowed. They make me feel like we have our own little family already, even if marriage is still a year away.
It’s been a lot of changes, but I don’t regret one bit of it. I’m completely looking forward to a life with you, and this little taste of domestic bliss just makes me want to fast forward to the day when I can be your Mister Zee for real.
Zee: You have changed since I met you, and yes, I’m fully aware of the changes you’ve been through. It makes me love you more, and we can’t wait to have you officially part of our household. We really do need someone to catch that monstrous 2-inch lizard and the monsters under our bed.
But about the bathroom and flushing, I’m glad you brought that up. I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that. Though I think maybe I should save that for another entry…
MDJ: Just think of it as me, uhm, leaving you a tribute.
Zee: Sigh. I love you too.
Thank you to Chuvaness for the female artworks by Mica on the collage, and the floor lamp (minus the boa feathers). The artworks really empowered the girls here in the household when we needed out the most, and yes, my little girl always says “No boys allowed. See? Look at the painting.”