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MDJ Says: There’s a joke that goes Derek Ramsay only has three outfits for his commercial endorsements: baby tee, XS long-sleeved fitted shirt, or burlesque. And it’s true – the man has a great physique, and he knows it. His abs have abs. He’s probably the only local celebrity who’s made more money off of his body than Marc Nelson. And also quite possibly the only one who’s spent more on full-body shaving too.

And yet, it’s easy to get blinded by perfection, which, it seems, is exactly what happened with Swatch Philippines.

MDJ: First things first: we both adore Derek Ramsay. He is one fine-looking dude. Even if there is some lingering resentment in me over the fact that he totally ripped off my look.

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Zee : I believe you’re much hotter. I also believe in unconditional love. You, on the other hand, my love, need to believe in the power of a salad and some cardio once in a while.

MDJ: Hey, the day they finally invent a salad that’s passably macho, I’m totally there. None of that femme Nicoise foliage for me, please.

Zee: Sigh. Fatty liver, babe. Fatty liver.

MDJ: Hey, I’m sure Derek enjoys a Baconator once in a while too.

In any case, I distinctly remember you going nuts over a standee of his we saw at the mall.OMG IT’S A LIFE-SIZED STANDEE OF DEREK RAMSAY OMG OMG OMG, you squealed, clattering over to the Swatch store in Greenbelt 5, 4-inch heels be damned, as I was piously praying my hourly rosary. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE CAN I HAVE A PICTURE WITH HIM??

And so, I had to oblige, all the while praying to Saint Bernadette to watch over your morals and virtue.

Zee : Err… no. You made me stand there, and I was so embarrassed.

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MDJ: Okay, so maybe I was projecting a little bit. We spotted a disturbing detail afterwards, however, that nearly killed the magic of the moment.

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Looks like the happy trail is making a comeback, son. I guess your graphic artist forgot about the “zoom” and “healing brush” function on his photo editing software. You could light a match on that stubble.

Zee : Disturbing, I agree. But what is even more disturbing is that you actually noticed it.

MDJ: Apparently, even Derek Ramsay needs Photoshop too.

Or at the very least, a primer on the virtues of the male Brazilian, AKA The Boyzilian.

Zee: Sigh. I hope that isn’t you projecting again.

*****

(P.S. MR. RAMSAY, THE SUCCEEDING HARD SELL PLUG IS ENTIRELY FOR YOUR BENEFIT. PLEASE PUT THAT GILLETTE RUBIE DISPOSABLE RAZOR DOWN AND LEAVE THE MANSCAPING TO THE PRO’S.)

Strip: The Ministry of Waxing (http://www.strip-manila.com) offers a full range of waxing, trimming, and IPL treatments for unwanted hair for both ladies AND dudes. Visit them at Serendra or Greenbelt 5 for more details – Brazilian first-timers get 20% off!

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