[VIDEO BLOG] The Curious Case of Tiffany & Amber

They were brave warriors, noble and true.

They bore tough, resilient armors, hardy enough to resist the most ferocious battering from oceans of misfortune, yet light and pliable enough to allow them to gaze up at the stars every night, dreaming, wondering, “Life.. what does it hold for us?”

They had hopes. They had dreams. They had ambitions and visions, aspirations and goals.

But above all, they had each other.

Their names were Tiffany and Amber, and they were two beautiful young crabs in love.

They swore to each other, with claws intertwined after one particularly lusty, sweaty evening of fierce lovemaking, that they would always be true to each other. They would strive to be better crustaceans together. They would take care of each other, and they would live for each other.

Little did they know that they would die together as well.

The tragic grave of the young, unfortunate Tiffany & Amber.

Join us on this brief documentary celebrating how the one brief, glorious blaze of love shared by young Tiffany and Amber was tragically snuffed out by the voracious appetites of two incredibly good-looking, adorable, slightly nutty yet staggeringly sweet Superstars likewise in love, MDJ & Zee.

Shed a tear for the end of the love shared by Tiffany & Amber.

Yet forget not to celebrate the courage with which they faced death together.

If only we, as humans, could learn to be as brave.

Production notes:

  1. Real crab experts would have spotted right from the start that the crabs in question were, in fact, male, and should not have been named “Tiffany” and “Amber,” but rather, “Timothy” and “Andrew.”
  2. All footage is entirely unscripted, and is representative of the general silliness that goes on during the dates of the very-much-twitterpated MDJ & Zee.
  3. If you enjoyed this video, kindly share us your appreciation by depositing a very large gratuity in our PayPal accounts, preferably in increments of $1,000. We need it for our wedding.

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