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Zee Says: Being in a relationship means loving and accepting everything about an individual. Every nuance, habit, and tic. We all have our weirdness; we all have our quirks. That’s what makes us unique. Falling in love with MDJ Superstar means putting up with hours and hours of wrestling stories and being a guinea pig of wrestling holds. It means keeping track of a slew of wrestling stars I had no idea existed. I used “falling in love” because really, it’s hard to understand.


Zee:
So, what is it with you and this fascination with wrestling?

MDJ: First of all, I don’t particularly enjoy those sophomoric jokes over how pro wrestling is just “sweaty, baby-oiled men with shaved chests and Spandex g-strings rolling around in each other’s arms,” i.e. a nitro-fueled homo-erotic spectacle. That’s old, and not particularly clever. There’s depth, drama, and – dare I say it – meaning in watching an episode of WWE programming. Certainly a lot more than what you’d get in an episode of Sex & The City or Gossip Girl, if I may be so bold.

Zee: I don’t crack those jokes. I feel the depth and drama and find the hot, sweaty men in glittered, star-spangled hot pants oddly erotic. Oh, did I tell you my favorite Sex & The City character was Samantha Jones?

MDJ: Samantha Jones would have never given me the time of day. You know how everybody had that fat, shy, sweaty, clumsy, un-athletic slob of a classmate back in elementary school, the one who’d always get picked last for sports teams, and always left a heart-shaped, sweaty butt-mark when he’d sit down on the ground? That was me. Oh boy, all the way into college, that was me. Also, I have no idea who Samantha Jones is.

Samantha Jones: Bitch In Heels

Zee: You’re a barbarian then. I came from an all-girl school. But if I did have one of those classmates, I would run away. Far away. Hanging out with someone like that would be the death of my shallow, party-loving high school and college social life. Though, I may leave him Driclor at his locker for his sweat issues if I felt like doing something nice. So, it’s safe to say that wrestling was a good excuse for being a fat, sweaty slob, huh?

MDJ: The total opposite! Wrestling is what motivated me to get into fitness and health – I literally had such jacked-up beasts as the Ultimate Warrior, Batista, and Triple H as my desktop wallpaper, and it was memories of these veiny, striated, dripping-with-baby-oil Goliaths that got me through that one last straining set of 250-pound bench-presses each workout, and helped me to my physical peak of a 31” waistline with 18” biceps – I could have passed as a member of the Baby Oil Boys’ Club, I kid you not.

The Ultimate Warrior: President of the Baby Oil Boys’ Club (Or, in Zee’s opinion, “President of the Bellestar Dancers)

And I would seriously watch promos and interviews by The Rock to learn how to deliver speeches and presentations. I swear, I owe the successes of my professional career to the Brahma Bull’s cadence and diction. (I also picked up his fondness for referring to himself in the third person, but that’s another story all together.)

I owe wrestling my health, my confidence, and my persona. MDJ Superstar would not exist without the glory and power of pro wrestling. To me, it isn’t just a sport. It’s my life.

Zee: So now I know who to blame. They should expect some hate mail soon. Wait, did you say jacked-up breasts or beasts? Didn’t referring to yourself in the third person during presentations scare clients? You really should be thankful you still have a job. Some people do find that… odd. For the life of you, stop it.

MDJ: But enough about me. You used to be on the Philippine Team for climbing, which obviously calls for physical attributes a little bit beyond my scope, i.e. flexibility, agility, and a resistance to pizza. Do you think couples should engage in a shared sporting fascination? I’d be a great belayer, I really would. You’d have to be my wrestling crash test dummy in return though.

Zee: Actually, you lost me at “First of all…” Hahaha.

I do agree with couples engaging in a shared sporting fascination, but I really think you should study physics more first before you think of climbing with me. Have you ever seen a chubby kid and a skinny kid on the see-saw at a playground? Sadly, we will look a lot like that. How about surfing? You float, I ride.

I have been trying to appreciate your wrestling obsession the past 2 years. In fact, I love the outfits. Those Mexican lucha libre masks have got to be the secret to losing face fat; they’re so hot, they have made my face smaller. I love the color, noise, and enthusiasm of those wrestlers you watch daily, but I can never seem to remember the names. Bautista, he’s Pinoy right? Related to Christian and Herbert?

MDJ: I hate you.

Zee allegedly paying tribute to the proud heritage of Mexican wrestling. And failing miserably. On purpose.

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6 thoughts on “Wrestling Woes

    • From a male POV, I find UFC terribly boring. For one, since it’s a REAL sport, you don’t get the carely-orchestrated build-up of drama that you would in the choreographed world of pro wrestling. When they say it’s “male soap opera,” they aren’t kidding.

      Also, they have cooler trunks in the WWE. Star-spangled spandex! Sequins! Lightning bolts! Too cool for school!!!

  1. From a male POV, I find UFC terribly boring. For one, since it’s a REAL sport, you don’t get the carely-orchestrated build-up of drama that you would in the choreographed world of pro wrestling. When they say it’s “male soap opera,” they aren’t kidding.

    Also, they have cooler trunks in the WWE. Star-spangled spandex! Sequins! Lightning bolts!

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